Adaptive Stress Responses
Why your reactions make sense and how to meet them with care
We often hear the phrase “fight or flight,” but our nervous systems have a range of protective strategies that go beyond that. These are known as adaptive stress responses, and they’re built into our biology. They’re not bad or broken. They’re wise. They have a critical function – to keep us safe
While we often associate these responses with trauma, and yes, they do show up in the wake of traumatic stress, they can also arise anytime we feel overwhelmed, under-supported, or overstimulated. And in today’s world, where complexity, uncertainty, and pressure are part of daily life, many of us are spending more time stressed (with dysregulated nervous systems) than we realise.
What Are Adaptive Responses?
When the body perceives too much, too fast, too soon, or too often, your nervous system steps in to protect you. This happens below the level of conscious awareness, through what’s called neuroception.
Neuroception is your body’s built-in threat detection system. It constantly scans:
the environment,
the nervous systems of others, and
the internal landscape of your body,
for cues of safety, danger, or life threat.
As Deb Dana (legend polyvagal theory teacher) writes, the nervous system is our inner surveillance system. When it senses danger, it shifts into one of several biological survival strategies:
✊FIGHT
“I need to protect myself.”
May feel like anger, frustration, tension, or a need to control.
🏃 FLIGHT
“I need to get away.”
Might show up as anxiety, restlessness, overworking, or avoidance.
❄️ FREEZE
“I can’t move. I don’t know what to do.”
Often experienced as feeling stuck, foggy, or dissociated.
🙏 FAWN
“If I keep everyone happy, I’ll be okay.”
Looks like people-pleasing, self-abandonment, or over-accommodating.
🛌 FLOP
“I give up.”
A deeper form of collapse—numbness, withdrawal, or shutdown.
The Window of Tolerance
Dr. Dan Siegel describes the Window of Tolerance as the space where we feel regulated, connected, and able to respond to life with flexibility.
Inside this window, we can:
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Think clearly
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Connect with others
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Manage emotions
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Access curiosity and creativity
But when life gets too full, too fast, or too much, we may shift outside this window—into:
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🔥 Hyperarousal (panic, urgency, racing thoughts)
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🧊 Hypoarousal (numbness, flatness, disconnection)
This doesn’t only happen in response to trauma. It can be triggered by a messy morning, a hard conversation, a lack of sleep, or simply the quiet accumulation of everyday stress.
Dysregulation Isn’t the Problem—It’s a Signal
It’s easy to assume that being regulated all the time is the goal. But that’s not the point. Dysregulation isn’t the enemy—it’s a message.
When the system perceives threat, it moves into protective states—not because we’re broken, but because our body is doing what it was designed to do: keep us safe.
The challenge comes when we’re stuck in these patterns in response to things that aren’t actually dangerous—like emails, deadlines, social dynamics, or long-held stress imprints.
We don’t want to villainise dysregulation. We want to learn to:
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recognise it
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respond to it with compassion, and
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support ourselves back into connection
You might start by gently asking:
“What’s happening in my system right now?”
“Is this reaction in proportion to what’s actually happening?”
“What might support me in this moment?”
Over time, this builds what I call response-ability—the ability to respond, rather than react, with more choice, clarity, and care.
Want to learn more?
If this resonates, I’d love to invite you to join me for:
Understanding Your Nervous System: A Path to Greater Connection, Creativity & Response-ability
In this experiential session, we explore Polyvagal Theory in a practical, embodied way. You’ll leave with take-home workbook, including gentle practices for nervous system support, and deeper insight into how to work with—not against—your biology.
✨ Get in touch if you would like to discuss running a training like this for your team
Written by : Jax Wechsler Photo by Earl Wilcox on Unsplash